Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Randomize