he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
