Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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