i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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