I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
How external is "for external use only"?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
