Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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