google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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