you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
