I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
