Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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