found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
