My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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