I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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