I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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