Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
