How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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