How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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