but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
