I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
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Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
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And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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