I heard we made out
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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