I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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