and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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