i would punch a child for taco bell
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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