absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Alive.
So much puke
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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