If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
