Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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