Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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