Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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