You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
