Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
