Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
