I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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