If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
