They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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