Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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