i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
