"it" just moved
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
