I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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