so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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