i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
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All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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