Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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