Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
