his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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