hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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