well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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