if you like me you must not know who I am
In the future we'll all be gay
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
