I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize