So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
