I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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