Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize