He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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