South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
