idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
