idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
