Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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