Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
